Humility centered in paradox

I am repackaging some ancient truths in my own flavor of locutions.  Here are some recent ideas that have been bouncing around my reality. So, we know that paradox is essentially the balance point between two seemingly contradicting or polar ideas.  In truth, we embody all of them simultaneously.  To draw upon a perspective given to us by extraterrestrial contact specialist Bashar, we are most powerful when we stand within the polarities perfectly balanced.

Many years ago a friend of mine asked me if I see myself as a woman or a girl.  Without hesitation I answered "a girl".  I recently asked myself that question again and I feel like I am on the fulcrum of these two definitions.

Here's a brief snapshot of myself as "a girl".  Skip this  paragraph if you are not interested in my memories of this particular parallel reality self that I am right now.  When I was a young girl I was very much focused on doing the right things to prepare me for life.  At age nine, when the lady of the house decided to part with her physical body, I began cooking the family dinner, cleaning, doing the laundry, ironing, reading and writing music, being a gymnast, doing all kinds of body contortions, swimming like a champ, playing tackle football with the boys, sewing clothing, and writing stories about interdimensional doorways (at the time I called them Holes).  As I grew into the teenage years, though, I pretty much said "fuck this"; I partied hard and attracted many challenging relationships and ideas about myself.  Around the age of 18 I began my study into metaphysical concepts and began a weak meditation practice.  My partying had already taken on a new face that included psychedelics (which I still do) music festivals and lots of whiskey.  Splashed up in tie-dye with the grateful dead playing the background, I meandered conversations about aliens, veganism & enlightenment with a drink in one hand a cigarette in the other.  Hahaha this is a funny piece to be writing and sharing.  I was so off to a good start and then I flickered into a reality where I became this perfectly confused infusion of empathetic descension... And then a flowering occurred.  Like a shiny new pearl, I shine in my current reality like never before.  Unprecedented is this beauty I now know myself to be.

I have come to resonate deeply with the teachings of many great masters through my time here.  Two of my favorites that are alive today are Sri Amma and Sri Bhagavan, of the Oneness University in India.  They are responsible for bringing on a wave of "oneness blessings", also known as deeksha, to western culture.  There have been many reported heightened experiences of awakening and even some of enlightenment while using these tools and energy.  One such teaching is the recognition of how much energy we lose by trying to be the perfect self.  Where we lose a lot of our power is the gap between who we are right now and who we think we should be.  The balancing of this could be summed up in one word.  Humility.  The courage to honor where you are in your evolution, truly with integrity and to be honest about it.  Open humility, also known as external integrity, is a powerful tool for transformation and is the basis for most of my excitement in writing.  Though, I think I've spent enough time explaining why I write this blog, this is exactly what I have been doing.  Transparency on an external level in order to crystallize the vibration.  Writing is a form of processing, and also a form of storing power (so says the wonderful and talented Zen Master Rama).

Ahh... and yet the era of processing is coming to a beautiful close in my world and I am stepping onto a plane of conviction and humility.  Processing can be simply a delay tactic and the processes themselves are just permission slips to become the outcome, which is instantaneous.  Permission slips are not necessary and simultaneously they are extremely powerful.  It is so so sweet to be in this paradox.

Man I don't know if this makes any coherent correlation but it just pours out and becomes perfectly put together, in my own insane little way.